Hooditus

This is a post that was written in 2014.  I included it here because this blog is dedicated to the hood and as such, its time for us to do and live better. Please note that the language used is intended to prove a point. 

Okay, so I’m going to be totally transparent for a moment and share something that I think a lot of women; especially women of color may suffer from. I recently finished my first book, The Reality of Sexual Purity™’; a look at the life of a self- proclaimed ex-whore’s journey into abstinence.  Because of God’s timing, He allowed my far-away mentor,Marshawn Evans Daniels; former Miss America, Entertainment Attorney, Author, Speaker and Business Mentor to holdBrand Class™; a faith-based, intensive branding and coaching program which I highly recommend.  To give you a little history, I’ve attended her free teleseminars for years.  In them, she’d give God-inspired business and ministry strategies and share testimonials about her fabulous high-end clients.  As I listened to the Q&A sessions, I could tell these women weren’t like me.  These were well-educated, accomplished, and seemingly successful women.  They enunciated perfectly and articulated their brilliance with ease.  I’d listen, with my phone on mute thinking, ‘What you doin’ on this call?  You seem like you got it all together.’  

 

Though I’d leave each session ridiculously inspired; I’d somehow walk away defeated because I couldn’t afford to participate in the paid programs she offered.  Fast forward three years and it’s me in the program; surrounded by yet another set of virtual divas; all chiming about their MBD’s (Masters and Ph.D’s) and masterfully plugging their businesses and ministries on our private Facebook page. And here I sit; unpublished book in hand, no degree, single and barely making ends meet.  Yet I know I’m supposed to be here.  For three years I waited on the sidelines patiently waiting to get in; now I’m here and a part of me wants to run.  Why?  Because like so many Black women, I suffer from Hooditus.  From my speech to my feet; even in my 40’s, it seems that I can’t escape that ride-or-die chick; the one that’s quick to lick, quick to spit and quick to …. See!  

And I think this is the dichotomy of reality TV. Seeing the likes of Tamar and Joseline, oftentimes lulls us into believing that it’s okay to say ‘You know what I’m sayin’?’ after every sentence. But the more I build my brand and finish this class, I see that ‘that ain’t cute no mo!’; not at my age anyway. But the more I speak, the more I hear the streets. In fact, a few years ago, God let me know that I’d have to start ‘speaking well’. Because if I didn’t, those type of women wouldn’t be able to receive what He’d given mefor them.  Imagine that?  Him using a hood chick to spit…I mean to teach Bible truths to six and seven figure women.  

 

It reminds me of what Bishop T.D. Jakes once said.  It was something like; ‘What do you do when you’re dressed like where you’ve been and it’s time for you to get where you’re going. You can’t go back to where you were; even though you feel out of place where you’re at.  Why? Because unlike everybody there; you’re not dressed for the part.’ Well, the class officially ended today and my book is in the hand of my Format Editor as we speak and believe or not; I’m still not dressed.  But you know what?  I’m still going!  And my sweet hood sister, I encourage you to do the same.  

You’re not going to be as polished or a poised as others; but that doesn’t mean God didn’t create you to get in where you fit in.  And no, you don’t quite fit yet - but trust; there are some high-end women who need what God created you to do.  We just need to appreciate their acumen, learn from their genius, andglean in their brilliance. 

Pray this with me: Heavenly Father, please forgive me.  Though I know I should be old enough to know better, I have not done better. Help me to not feel intimidated or ashamed of my past and where I come from and Lord, please help me to embrace the woman I became in the hood and introduce her to the woman You created me to be.  In Jesus’ name.

Justifying Fatness With Foolishness

Hey there.  What?  You not speaking? Okay. Okay.  I'm sorry.  I haven't written in almost three weeks. But I haven't given up.  So let me fill you in on what's going on.  I'm walking pretty regularly now. And though I feel like a size 12 after every walk; I'm pretty sure I'm still an 18.  But I've noticed that I can get in some 16's and I can tell my britches are fitting me better.  But here's what I wanted to share with you.

Steve Harvey is raising money for charity by working out for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT on his highly acclaimed, nationally syndicated radio broadcast.  FOUR HOURS y'all.  And yes it's for a great cause and yes the boys he's doing it for are important. But FOUR HOURS for 30 DAYS??? That's some Biggest Loser-type-stuff right there.  Ordinarily, I'd continue to scroll through the Gram and be like 'Oh, that's good!  You go Steve!' as if I'd done my good deed for the day. But while watching him peddle, I got inspired.  Because I'd walked 4 miles yesterday (sure did!), I decided I was going to rest today.  But seeing Mr. Harvey do his thing, I got to thinkin'; if he can do it for four, I can get my one in.  So I zipped out of bed, headed towards my closet and then the real battle began.

Girdle Wars

So I'm in my closet, determined and inspired to get this walk in and I reach to get my uniform. What's that?  Remember, I'm still hood bound, which means I have one set of jogging pants that I wear and a run down pair of Nike's that I got as a result of a guest leaving them in a room I once cleaned while working Housekeeping at the Holiday Inn. I digress. But I'm in my closet, all excited about my morning walk when I decide I'm going to wear some shorts and change it up a bit. But because I have more than a few lumps and bumps, I reach for some old girdles - not Spanx - old girdles that my 60-something Aunt's gave me over a decade ago. Laugh if you want to :(

I grab the first pair and it reads 'LARGE'. I'm like, "Bet! I can sholl squeeze in these.' But though my mind thinks I'm a 12, my thighs smack me back into reality as I realize, that's not going to work. Okay. No problem.  I grab the other one. 'Okay, let's see. X-LARGE.  Oh yeah, ya girl got this.  I can sholl get up in these.'  And you know what I DID! The only problem was that I was exhausted from having squzzed (not squeeze, squzzed) into them.  And not only that, I had muffin top thighs.  So now I'm like, 'Man, after all that, I'm not going!' And ladies this is where it gets serious because this is where so many of us quit.

Justifying Fatness

Because I'd spent five minutes trying to squeeze into something that I knew I had no business, I almost let my mind talk me out of exercising.  I justified it with the fact that I was tired and disgusted and now I deserved to go lay down. At the time, that foolishness made sense and it's because I've used excuses like that so many times before.  And you know what?  You have too.  The fact that I was too fat to get into those girdles, coupled with the fact that I had worked up a sweat as a result was all the more reason for me to hit the streets and get my walk in.  Though I wanted to talk myself out of it, I quickly saw that logic made no sense and instead got my 3.5 mile walk in.  Up top! So girlfriends, let this be the year we finally get healthy.  No more excuses about 'no clothes to wear' or 'I'm not about to walk in the neighborhood I live in.' Just go! But in order to do so, we're going to have to stop justifying our fatness with foolishness.  

Walking By Faith and My Before Pic

So who got it in this morning?  Not that in, walk-in.  I did! Up top!  I recently moved and didn't really know where I wanted to go. So I decided I wouldn't plan it out and that I'd literally walk by faith. And walk by faith I did.  And I'm so glad that I did because the view was nice and the weather was good; plus I had the opportunity to chat with my BMF. S/O to Dante!

Well, I'm not going to prolong this any longer.  As promised in my last post, here's a picture. And trust me this is truly a day of walking by faith because I'm posting something that I ordinarily would NEVER do.  So here goes!

This is my official BEFORE picture that I'll be referring to throughout this weight loss journey.  Feel free to post yours. Holla!

Chronicling the Journey

I started this blog with the intent of teaching the disadvantaged and those living below the national poverty line how to 'eat good in the hood'. For my ebonically challenged readers, that simply means how to maintain a healthy lifestyle on a meager budget.  Well, that was four years ago and my how my life has changed. But one thing that hasn't - is this weight.  In fact, I'm even larger than when I first started to post.  So what is it? 

 

To be honest, I enjoy food.  You see while most are addicted to kush, Ciroc, sex, and other vices, I'm addicted to food.  There I said it.  My name is Staci and I am an addict.  #JK. But that's how it feels sometimes.  It's like I excuse the fact that I don't smoke, chew or run with those that do, to the fact that I'm only eating. I mean, so what?  It's food.  Ain't nobody gettin' pregnant, sleeping with someone's  husband, or killin' folk.  I mean its only food.  Right?  So what you lookin' at me for?  Could it be that it's because I'm 70 pounds overweight.  And?  I'm thick but I still win.  What?  Yeah, I said it.  I still win. Meaning, I still turn heads. I still command the presence in the room and if I wanted, "I'll take your man!' (in my Salt and Pepa voice) LOLOLOL! No, I'm kidding. But seriously.  Even though it's true (not that I'll take your man) but that I still win.  The truth of the matter is that I need to lose.  Not just this weight, but the mindset that's kept me thinking that its okay to be my size. 

 

So today, I decided to finally pick up that Fitmen's 'No Cheats Needed' Guide.  Considering the fact that I've had it for months (don't judge me), I finally read a few pages and had an epiphany.  He said that he chronicled his weight loss journey and you know what?  So am I.  Yep! And that's huge because I'm what some call an introvert.  Oftentimes considered anti-social (though I'd prefer to be called aloof). And even though I'm very nice on the eyes, I do not use my powers for evil (in my Austin Powers voice). I'm not the one for pictures and this may sound shocking but I've never...NEVER taken a selfie.  #FRFR. I avoid attention at all costs; which means the fact that I'm actually going to chronicle this thang is HUGE! No pun intended. This is going to be a major step for me.  One that'll require me walking by faith and actually losing this weight and two, the fact that I'm going to let you watch. Through pictures that is.  Have to clarify nowadays.  I digress.

 

So won't you join me?  Leave your comments and aha moments and we'll walk this thang out together.  Speaking of which?  You walkin' tomorrow?  Until next post...

 

Know that you are prayed for by,

Staci

 

Faux Fasts

Again with the forgiveness but I haven't been faithful to this blog which we'll go into reasons later but...Good news!  Since I started my walking routine at the house, I've lost 5 whole pounds!  Yep, sure did and guess what?  I didn't stop eating certain foods or nothin'! (Excuse my English)  I simply walked/ran for one hour at least 5 days a week.

2013
It's time to step my game up.  Jentezen Franklin, Senior Pastor of Free Chapel Church in Gainesville, Ga always has a 21-day fast at the beginning of the year.  Well, this year I'm going to do it again only this time its not going to be just a fast but a lifestyle.  Oh, I'm not doing the all-out-no-food-fast; now sweetie.  FYI: I've done a 40-day fast and several no-food-faux-fast in my time. 

Faux Fast
What's a faux fast?  One that's without the direction of the Lord and afterwards usually leads to weight gain. Why would I say that fasting led to my weight gain?  Because when I was a baby Christian, I was trying to prove how spir-it-u-ale (I know its spelled wrong) I was and as a result, I trained by body to believe that it wouldn't get fed; so both my body and mind went into survivor mode.  To this day I have to remind myself that I can eat WHENEVER I want.  But I said all that to say, don't fast unless you're led by the Holy Spirit.  So I'm doing a partial Daniel Fast; which if you're overweight and in the same financial situation I'm in - you should probably prayerfully consider doing. I mean living off of $200 worth of stamps and doing a partial fast is going to be something to both see and experience.  Won't you join me? Twenty one days here I come.......

Walking at Home

Forward Progress
Please forgive me!  It's been almost four months since my last entry and in that time, so much has changed.  Ya girl is still on stamps, but I'm actually a small business owner.  What?  Yeah girl, I am!  I've actually been in business since February but I've stepped my game up and it's coming along..a little slower than expected but at least I can see getting off public assistance.

I celebrated my 42nd birthday this month.  I decided that I'd try to get as fine as possible before; so  I walked for almost 30 days straight.  But here's the thing.  I didn't go to the gym because remember, I'm on the come up.  I didn't go to the park everyday either.  Though I'm now 50 pounds overweight, I still tend to get alot of  attention on the streets which I do not enjoy.  I mean I've been celibate for almost ten years so men lookin' at my booty just doesn't do it for me.  I digress.  So where did I walk? In my apartment.

Why?  No excuses.  Walking in the comfort of my own took away every excuse not to.  So to those who are financially challenged and overweight; here's a great way to get in shape in the privacy of your own home.  Here's how I did it!

Walking at Home 

I started by just walking for one hour at least 6 days a week for 30 days.  I preface by saying 30 days because small intervals seems to work for me as opposed to me saying "I'ma work out 6 days a week for the rest of my life!" I found that I could handle that.  To be able to count down the days down as opposed to counting the ones in front gave me more motivation.

Then the next week, I walked for 19 minutes and ran in place for 1 minute.  I repeated that for the entire hour.  The next week, I'd run in place 2 minutes every 20 minutes and before my 42nd birthday I was up to running 3 minutes every 20 which meant I was actually running for at least 1 mile - on and off - within that hour.  Did I confuse you?  Hopefully not, but do what works for you.  Until next time...

The Food Stamp Dilemma

How to eat healthy on $200 worth of food stamps for two? 

Impossible?  I think not because with God nothing is.  I know it can be done but I smirk because my thinking has to change.  Because I've been overweight for almost two decades, my valuation of the cost of food is excess because I've eaten in excess. 

My mind wants to struggle with this but the goal is to NOT EAT as much which means this $200 food stamp thing may just work.