Tired of Being Fat

It was February 23, 2020 when I last blogged. I was ecstatic too. I had just gotten over what I know now to be COVID-19. I'd lost 10 pounds which meant I was down to 220 and baaaaby, you couldn't tell me nothing. 

Fast forward 11 months and I'm 240. Two hunid and foe-ty! I haven't been this big in my life. How I got here...I can't say I don't know because I did everything I knew not to do. Coupled with the fast that I've been on this weight loss journey the majority of my adult life and I think I'm finally tired. 

As funny as that sounds, you'd think I'd already gotten to this point. But this tired isn't like the others. This tired is the tired I felt in 2002. When I was tired of being a hoe. Tired of sacrificing my dignity to get high and tired of opening my legs to get my bills paid. That fatigue led me on a sexual sabbatical that led to 18 years of no sex. Yep! No sex. No with men...and not with me. That's the fatigue I'm feeling right now because I know this feeling all too well. And it is at this point where I know this will be the year that I lose this weight and keep it off.

Because as we all know. Losing weight isn't the hard part. It's keeping it off. So instead of saying I'm going to lose this weight because clearly it keeps finding its way back to me, I'm going to keep it off. What that's look like, I don't know but one thing's for certain. I's tied...

Today's Workout:

Treadmill - 19:15 minute mile

If You Can Move Challenge - 5 minutes

Side Crunches - 8

Squats - 16

Meals

15 cups of water

Cantaloupe (186 Calories)

Grapes (? Calories)

Popcorn (150 calories)

Trail Mix (280 calories)

Seeing This Thing Through

Made the decision to finally lose this weight. No, not to lose weight but to finally lose all the weight. As in, see this thing through until I have the body I see myself having. 

When I made that decision I saw that it's different than saying you want to lose weight. Because technically if you lose a pound, you've lost weight. But to make the decision to lose all the weight and see this through is a decision on top of a decision. Deciding to lose the weight and not stopping until its lost. Yeah, that's what I'm on.

The Flu Jumpstarted My Weight Loss

So the last time I blogged was June of last year. June. Of. Last. Year. Wow! That tells me how serious I've been about this weight loss journey. But in true fashion, I'm back. Only I think this time, I'm for real. For real. For. Real. How can I be so sure?

Because I caught the flu Monday, January 13, 2020. The same day I got a flu shot and by that night my temperature was 102.9. And for the next four days, I was sick, sick. The thing about it is that though I'm not a sickly person, this time I noticed something different about the sickness. When I coughed, it sounded as if I had pneumonia. That startled me because that cough is a cough I'd heard growing up along side my chain smoking grandfather and aunt. Each time I coughed, I could hear them which again startled me because I don't smoke. I mean I did smoke. Weed. But that was back in 2002. I haven't smoked anything since. But I did pick up a coffee drinking habit back in 2015 that I noticed over the years seems to be tied in to my weight gain. I digress.

But while we're on the subject, before I started drinking coffee I weighed 184. Within a few months, I'd gained at least 40 pounds. I don't know what coffee has to do with weight gain, but I'm telling you, I gained at least 40 stubborn pounds that I haven't been able to lose...until this sickness. Yep! Before the flu I was 231+. After the flu, I'm down to 220. 220. Man say! I'm stoked! That's because I told myself this is the year that I get the weight off; only I'm not going to set some ridiculous goal of 180 or something like that. Nope! This year, my goal is to get down to two hunid! Yep! 200 lbs is my goal for the year! And with the help of that sickness, I lost 11 whole pounds and bab-bee...when I tell you I feel goodt...I feel goodt! But again, we'll see how long this lasts.

I'm 49 and am at the point where I'm ready to get outchea! Not outchea, outchea but I'm ready to live. So starting off, I'm feeling pretty good this time. And y'all, I'm actually hood healthy. Only eating fruits, veggies, juices...turkey bacon and biscuits. I mean let's keep it funky. I gotta wean myself into that thang...especially, since I had to let my coffee go. Coffee. I digress. I just joined Black Girls Run too! Yeah, I know I joined Weight Watchers and Tamela Mann is out here inspiring us like its nobody's business. But I ain't financially ready for that yet. Oh, I will but for now, I'mma do it this way. Yep! 2020 gone be that year y'all. It's gone be that year!

I Joined Weight Watchers!

I know. I know. It's been a while. #mybad So let me jump right in and tell you what's going on. I watched a post of Tamela Mann speaking about being an ambassador for Weight Watchers, so I decided to join. Did it work? I don't know because of course, I wasn't consistent. I've only actually used the tracker twice. That's the only thing I'm paying for right now, so I'll keep you posted. But I'm back to exercising - A G A I N - so lets just restart our weight loss journey, shall we?

The Why Behind My Cereal Addiction

In my last post, I shamelessly shared my cereal addiction with you. Thankfully, the same day, I had a major breakthrough. You see, a couple of years back, I purchased Laura Harris Smith's, 'The 30-Day Faith Detox: Renew Your Mind, Cleanse Your Body, Heal Your Spirit'. As you already know, I never finished the book, but was led to start reading it again. As I did, I realized, what better way for the enemy to attack me than to use food. I mean think of it. What better way to get access into my body, head, and heart than byway of cereal. Something that I'd convinced myself was actually healthy. Hence, the wheat and milk.

But as I read her book, I realized that the wheat isn't healthy at all. In fact, its so refined that the nutritious parts, such as the germ and bran, are extracted and the milk, that I've believed was 'good for me', actually comes from cows injected with hormones and antibodies. Thus, the milk I've been drinking all my life is actually from cows that were so sick, they had to be injected with antibodies. Thus, I've been eating overly processed wheat soaked in sick cows milk. Ugh! It was at that point that I realized I'd enabled the enemy of my soul to come into my life byway of the food I loved the most.

But not only that, but she went on to point out that it has been scientifically proven that, 'what you eat affects what you think' which is the sole purpose of her book because she pointed out that, 'if it can be proven biblically that what you think affects your faith, then it can be said that what you are eating is currently affecting your faith', which means, 'at this very moment', I could, 'be chemically driving myself toward doubt', discouragement, disappointment, depression, and the like; simply by what I've consumed. Wow! And here I thought I was just a cereal enthusiast, or frugal, at best. Unbeknownst to me, that what I've been eating has not only been the reason I'm so thick, but has physiologically impacted the reason why I eat.

And here I was thinking that this was just a 24-hour fast to help me stop eating so much cereal.  Now I'm beginning to see that it's so much more. Stay with me thick chicks. Because as I go so do you so take some time to identify your cereal of choice. What food has followed you from your youth into your here and now? Once you identify it, know that that's where the enemy is going to attack. Once you determine what it is, consider going on a fast and pray that God deliver you from it. Because within that one food lies an answer to your battle of the bulge.

Copyright 2019 © Real Issues Publishing®. All rights reserved.

SOURCE: Laura Harris Smith, 'The 30-Day Faith Detox'. 2016. Chosen Books.

Cereal Repentance

So you should probably be tired of hearing about my cereal addiction by now, but please humor me. The reason I keep blogging about it is because this is about so much more than cereal. I know this might sound strange, but I even asked God to forgive me for my addiction. Yep! I actually repented for allowing my consumption to get out of hand. But before you start to judge me, let me explain why.

My handsome son

Dr. Rick Renner, Pastor, bestselling author, and Greek scholar said that, "the word “repentance” in the New Testament depicts a complete, radical, total change. It is a decision to completely change or a decision to entirely turn around in the way that one is thinking, believing, and living. It describes a person who is undergoing a complete and radical transformation that literally affects every part of his or her life1." That means I'm actually going to stop eating it all together, in addiction to changing my eating habits. 

You see, this isn't just about cereal, but because I see the error of my ways as it pertains to it, I anticipate this will impact every part of my health and fitness. This fast taught me so much more than just the harm cereal has caused, but it taught me that after all these years of overeating that I can:

• Still fast
• Control my appetite, and...
• Change the way, (why), and what I eat

Though God used cereal, as you can see this was more than that. How good God is to use something as strange as cereal to teach me about the importance of my health. And how wise He is to use my favorite food to teach me that what I thought I liked is not what I need. And if you didn't judge my transparency, He'll do the same for you. Maybe you're not addicted to cereal. Maybe it's weed, alcohol, opiods, sex, or shopping. Whatever "your cereal" is, I challenge you to fast and repent so as to give God the opportunity to change your life.

Copyright 2019 © Real Issues Publishing®. All rights reserved.

Source: Sparkling Gems, Rick Renner. renner.org.

My Cereal Confession

So for a while I've been planning to go on a fast. I know what you're thinking. How can a thick chick pull that off ? Well, if you must know, I used to fast regularly in my days as a baby Christian. "I don't mean to brag...I don't mean to boast..."(says lyrics from Rappers Delight) but I have actually fasted for 3, 7, 27, and even 40 days. Now don't go lookin' at me like that, I did. Not a water only fast, but 100% juice fasts. I fasted so much during those days that now, as a mature believer, I see it actually hurt. That's because a lot of those fasts weren't led of the Lord. Those fasts were me trying to be super spiritual which led me to not fast at all which eventually led me to struggle with this thick chick syndrome I now suffer with today. I digress.

But I woke up this morning around 4:45am and decided that I needed to. Back then I would just fast to be fasting. You know, just to say that I was fasting, which the Bible says we're not supposed to but I did it anyway, which made everyone at church think I was a super saint. But after many spiritual failures, I've learned that there has to be a reason for the fast. And though I shouldn't be telling you this, I can because this time I'm not trying to be glorified, but so that prayerfully, you'll learn from my fasting failures. With that being said, I decided I'd fast to get closer to God. But as I prayed, I realized that maybe this time, I should do the mature thing and ask Him what I should fast for and do you know what the Spirit of the Living God put on my heart - CEREAL. Wait, what now? 

The Story Behind My Addiction

You see since I was a little girl, I've always LOVED cereal. As long as I can remember, cereal has always been my staple food. Even now, it brings back memories because whenever I'd visit my father on the weekends, I could be sure that he'd have a big box of Cocoa Pebbles waiting on me. And when he dropped me over my grandparents, I knew Big Momma would have a box of Sugar Smacks on top of her green refrigerator that my older cousin Terry would have to pour. Yep, those were good times. Fast forward forty years, and I must admit, I'm addicted to it. So much so, that I'd rather have cereal than pizza, nachos, or even cake.

My addiction to cereal had gotten so out of hand, that I can eat a box a day, and I mean only a box a day. And to me, that was good because at least I wasn't eating anything else. So while other thick folk were enjoying ribeyes, fries, and a host of other fattening foods, ya girl was chucking spoonfuls of cereally bliss down her throat. So how dare you judge me? Oh, wait. You're not. But now that I've shared the fact that I can eat over 46 ounces of cereally goodness with you, I must confess. My name is Staci, and I'm a cereal addict. There I said it. Now let's see where this 24-hour fast gets me.

Copyright 2019 © Real Issues Publishing®. All rights reserved.